This started out as an e-mail to my roommate and ended up as a blog entry. I don’t know where it came from but I feel like I should post it:
So, last night I was laying in bed thinking again about the sermon that Pastor Perry spoke on and I was also thinking about you know, ‘Why don’t I have a boyfriend now?’ ‘Don’t I deserve happiness?’ ‘How long do I have to wait for God’s immeasurably more than anything I can ask or imagine?’ And then it hit me: right now…the right question for me to ask myself is: Am I (insert future husband’s name here)’s immeasurably more than anything he can ask or imagine? And I know that I am not. By a LOT. Recently I’ve been focusing so much on thinking, ‘the guy that God wants for me must not be ready because I’M READY TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW!!!!!’ I’ve been putting all the blame for not being in a relationship on somebody that I haven’t even met yet! What a great way to start off a relationship. All I can do is keep working on me. What can I improve on? Two things that immediately come to mind are my physical and spiritual health.
I need to be physically healthy because the guy I’m going to be with deserves a) to be with the one he loves for a long time and b) to look pleasing in his eyes. The second part of that statement seems superficial, but it’s not when you think about it. When I think about the kind of guy I want to marry, I mean the absolute IDEAL for me would be a physically appealing guy. I’ve never imagined a fat, bald acne laden guy as my future husband. No…I think of someone more like *ahem* Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Physically, that kind of guy is immeasurably more than all that I can ask or imagine for myself. And I’m positive that when (future husband) thinks about the kind of woman he’s going to marry, my physique is not the first thing to come to mind. God wants us to be a physical, emotional and most importantly, spiritual gift to our spouses.
I need to be spiritually healthy because a) God is not going to give me a husband when I am focusing completely on being in a relationship with a man and not being in a relationship with God and b) because my (future husband) deserves to have a Proverbs 31 woman…not a Proverbs 27:15 woman. Pastor Perry said in his sermon about marriage that when you take your eyes off of God and put it on a man, that it is the beginning of the end of that relationship. It cannot be sustained without God’s blessing and God’s love. He also brought up the fact that when we’re trying to push God into a deadline for love, that we try to justify settling for less than God’s best for us. Why settle for a cheeseburger when you can have a steak? I also don’t want my (future husband) to settle for me if I’m still acting like a cheeseburger. I am selfish and stubborn and sometimes ill-tempered (i.e...a big jerk!) when I don’t get my way. I act like the Proverbs 27:15 woman…who is such a terrible wife that living with her is like torture for her husband.
I really believe that God wanted me to stay single during my twenties so that I can learn how to humble myself and learn to be a giver and not a taker. Living with my roommate has really opened my eyes to all the intricacies and dynamics of sharing your home and your life with another person. From finances to cleaning responsibilities. Every single day I either learn something new about communal living or I am rebuked about something that I had been selfish about. I also know that I still have so much more to learn. I look forward to growing mentally and spiritually.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
It's Friday, I'm in love!
Currently listening to: Florence and the Machine
I’m feeling a bit unsatisfied today. I know it’s probably because A) I’m PMS-y, B) I’m sick of my lunch selections and C) I gained a pound over the week. I just don’t understand because I worked my BUTT off this week! I had one bad day. ONE! Not to mention that my roommate who “doesn’t count vegetables, mustard or vinegar” went to McDonald’s almost EVERY DAY and lost 1 1/2 pounds! It doesn’t make sense. I mean, I’m proud of her no matter how she lost the weight. If she stuffed her face with deep fried Twinkies all week and lost weight, I’d still be proud of her. But I just don’t understand why I didn’t lose weight also, or how I could have plateaued so soon. Oh well.
In other news, I’m going to be trying a new recipe tonight. Spaghetti squash with a creamy pumpkin sauce. I’m not sure if it’ll be a culinary delight, but I feel like I need to change it up so I don’t get so bored. I might make pita pizza’s for lunch tomorrow too.
In other news, I’m going to be trying a new recipe tonight. Spaghetti squash with a creamy pumpkin sauce. I’m not sure if it’ll be a culinary delight, but I feel like I need to change it up so I don’t get so bored. I might make pita pizza’s for lunch tomorrow too.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Things that make you go 'squee'
I love the colors on this necklace.
If I had a dog, I'd name him Snively and make him wear this miscievious dog tag!
I love vintage odds and ends with LOTS of color!
I also love Steampunk!
The marriage of vintage and modern is as fascinating as it is beautiful.
Ah. A piece that *almost* sums me up.
A vintage Alice in Wonderland necklace. It's beautiful and classic. Alice in Wonderland is my favorite book and movie and the Cheshire cat is my favorite character. If anyone is interested in purchasing these pieces or seeing other handmade jewelry, please visit http://www.etsy.com/!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Such a moving story...
I started this blog a LONG LONG time ago, but I never had time to update it.
This may be a bit of a heavy topic to start talking about, but it just affected me so much that I feel like I should share it. Let me preface this by saying that I work at a performing arts facility and that our theater company is doing a production called "I Never Saw Another Butterfly." It's about a girl who lived in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. Every time we do this production, the artistic director takes all the people involved with the show to the Holocaust Museum and has a Holocaust survivor come and speak to them. I've always been interested in the history of that time period so I was very grateful to be able to sit and listen to this man's story.
His name is Philip Gans and he was 15 when he was taken to Auschwitz III concentration camp. His grandmother, mother and sister were immediately gassed and cremated. His brother, father and himself were made to work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week for about 2 years. His brother died in the concentration camp because he was 'selected' to go to the gas chamber for being too sick. His father died on a death march while the Nazi's were moving the 'prisoners' while trying to avoid being captured by the Allies. Of his entire immediate family, only he and an aunt of his survived.
This period of time weighs on my heart so deeply. First, because of the strength of will these survivors had to live day after day in such horrific circumstances. Second, because of the strength of character that these survivors had that they could move on from these events and still know joy and peace and comfort and humor and for some of them...forgiveness of the people that did this to them (and those who stood by and did nothing). Third, because of the utter lack of humanity of the truly heinous people that could beat, rape and murder people just because they are different.
There are actually people who deny that the Holocaust happened. There are pictures! There is documentation! And most importantly, genocide still continues to this day. That is why it is so important to teach kids about this subject in school. The only way to prevent events like this happeneing in the world is to educate them about the horrors of discrimination.
This may be a bit of a heavy topic to start talking about, but it just affected me so much that I feel like I should share it. Let me preface this by saying that I work at a performing arts facility and that our theater company is doing a production called "I Never Saw Another Butterfly." It's about a girl who lived in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. Every time we do this production, the artistic director takes all the people involved with the show to the Holocaust Museum and has a Holocaust survivor come and speak to them. I've always been interested in the history of that time period so I was very grateful to be able to sit and listen to this man's story.
His name is Philip Gans and he was 15 when he was taken to Auschwitz III concentration camp. His grandmother, mother and sister were immediately gassed and cremated. His brother, father and himself were made to work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week for about 2 years. His brother died in the concentration camp because he was 'selected' to go to the gas chamber for being too sick. His father died on a death march while the Nazi's were moving the 'prisoners' while trying to avoid being captured by the Allies. Of his entire immediate family, only he and an aunt of his survived.
This period of time weighs on my heart so deeply. First, because of the strength of will these survivors had to live day after day in such horrific circumstances. Second, because of the strength of character that these survivors had that they could move on from these events and still know joy and peace and comfort and humor and for some of them...forgiveness of the people that did this to them (and those who stood by and did nothing). Third, because of the utter lack of humanity of the truly heinous people that could beat, rape and murder people just because they are different.
There are actually people who deny that the Holocaust happened. There are pictures! There is documentation! And most importantly, genocide still continues to this day. That is why it is so important to teach kids about this subject in school. The only way to prevent events like this happeneing in the world is to educate them about the horrors of discrimination.
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